Archive for January, 2010
My wife and I pondered for a while whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.
I wanted to be an arch-criminal as a child, before I discovered I was too short.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better… while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.