Woody Allen Quotes
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.
I spend a lot of time idly. I go to sporting events, play my clarinet. I practise. But if you work every day, a certain amount on a steady basis, the work accumulates.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Most of the time I don’t have much fun. The rest of the time I don’t have any fun at all.
I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
My wife and I pondered for a while whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?